Have You Seen My God?

True Story

A non-Christian business owner had a Christian employee. She noticed that since she hired her her business has been blessed.

She became confident with her that she would feel relaxed even when she's far from her office as long as her employee is there.

One day she arrived just before the store closes. She noticed something's missing on one of their tables. Then she asked, "Have you seen my god?"

Surprised as she is, the employee replied, "What?"

The owner opened the table drawer, pulled out a photo frame and said, "There he is."

"That's your god?"

"Yes. I know you don't believe in it but please don't put him anywhere else again, ok?"

"Sure. One of our customers had a child who would get your god and throw it on the floor. So I had to keep it somewhere the child wouldn't reach it."

A Dozen Flowers Without Petals

Mr. Dillan is a well-known city mayor. His integrity and dedication to public service is what made him won the people's trust.

One night, Sonia and Meredith saw a lady going in the mayor's house. No one saw her go out so they assumed she slept there and he is trying to hide her. (The visitor left just before sunrise.)

Sonia and Meredith began telling their version of the story until it became the city's secret. Come next election and he lost. It was a humiliating lost he never expected. His secretary then told him what was going on around his jurisdiction about him. He was rushed to hospital due to nervous breakdown.

When he was okay, he requested that he talk with Sonia and Meredith. When they came, he immediately explained to them that the lady who came to visit him that night was his mother and was so inferior that she didn't want people to know or even see her.

They said sorry and he accepted it. Now they insist that the mayor ask them of anything just so they can be free from the guilt that they feel. Just so they stop, he gave in.

"Okay then bring me a dozen flowers without petals but..." Just before he could say the next word, they hurriedly left. That bought a dozen flowers and took off its petals on their way back.

When they presented it to him, he asked, "Where are the petals? That's what I need. I wanted to tell you but you left so fast."

"But how are we going to gather all those petals? We took it all off along the way. It must have been scattered everywhere by now."

The mayor replied, " That's what you did to me. How am I going to tell every single person who believed your story that it was not true?"

A Better Way To Say It

Sometimes people can hurt others by the words they say - whether they mean it or not. Choice of words is a factor. Although I believe that more often than not, the biggest factor is the condition of the heart of the receiver.

Here's another story about how a clever husband can send a message to his wife without hurting her.

At the dining area, husband and wife are just about to have their dinner. The wife just finished preparing the table.

At first bite, the husband found that the food was way too salty for him. He didn't want his wife who lovingly prepared it to get hurt. He wanted to appreciate her effort so he ate as he would normally do (when it's not salty).

After dinner, he asked her, "Honey, is salt on sale today? You mus have bought a lot."

Lonely In The Island

Three men got stuck in an island. After three years, they saw a bottle floating nearby. They opened it and a fairy came out.

The fairy told them each of them can have one wish from her. Here are what they asked for:

Man 1: It's so lonely here. I wish I'm back with my family in New York.

Fairy: Done.

And he's back with his family.

Man 2: He's right. It's so lonely here. Send me back to my wife in our house.

Fairy: Done.

And he's now enjoying his time with his wife.

Man 3: They're right. It's lonely here. Specially now that I'm all alone. I wish that my two friends who jst left be back here.

Fairy: Done.

Then the fairy left.

And they're all stuck in the island... again.

A Beautiful One

A man has been hiding all his life because he thinks he's too ugly to have friends who will accept him for who he is. One day, he found a bottle in their attic. He opened it and a fairy came out.

He was then given one wish. He immediately showed her a map (of another country).

Man: Bring me to this country. I read that ugly people like me could have a good life there.

Fairy: Sorry pal my powers are limited to this country only. I can't take you to another country.

Man: Oh, is that so? Okay then just turn my face into a beautiful one.

Fairy: Can You show me the map again? I'll see what I can do with that.

Anyone Brave Enough?

An angry man came out of the street yelling, "Is there anyone here brave enough to fight me?"

For fifteen minutes he was doing the same thing.

Finally someone came out and accepted his challenge. He was big, looks sporty and knows martial arts.

Then the angry man, feeling embarrassed because he knew he couldn't beat him yelled, "My invitation was just for people five years old and below!"

Bad Dog

A man visited a girl in her house. Now they are seated on a chair made of wood. The girl's dog, Brownie, is under the man's seat.

Now the man needs to fart but he thinks that when he stands up to do it somewhere else, it might come out while he walks so he farted right there on the seat.

The girl heard it so she called her dog, "Brownie, come here. Bad dog."

So the man thought to himself that it was a success because she thought t was the dog, not him.

While they were talking, he needed to do it again and he did. The dog was under his chair again so he did not worry about who's to blame. Then the girl called out, "Brownie, come here. Bad dog."

After some time, the dog came back under his chair again. So the man did it once more. The girl immediately called her dog and said, "Brownie, come here. He might poop on you. Bad dog."