A Beautiful One

A man has been hiding all his life because he thinks he's too ugly to have friends who will accept him for who he is. One day, he found a bottle in their attic. He opened it and a fairy came out.

He was then given one wish. He immediately showed her a map (of another country).

Man: Bring me to this country. I read that ugly people like me could have a good life there.

Fairy: Sorry pal my powers are limited to this country only. I can't take you to another country.

Man: Oh, is that so? Okay then just turn my face into a beautiful one.

Fairy: Can You show me the map again? I'll see what I can do with that.

Anyone Brave Enough?

An angry man came out of the street yelling, "Is there anyone here brave enough to fight me?"

For fifteen minutes he was doing the same thing.

Finally someone came out and accepted his challenge. He was big, looks sporty and knows martial arts.

Then the angry man, feeling embarrassed because he knew he couldn't beat him yelled, "My invitation was just for people five years old and below!"

Bad Dog

A man visited a girl in her house. Now they are seated on a chair made of wood. The girl's dog, Brownie, is under the man's seat.

Now the man needs to fart but he thinks that when he stands up to do it somewhere else, it might come out while he walks so he farted right there on the seat.

The girl heard it so she called her dog, "Brownie, come here. Bad dog."

So the man thought to himself that it was a success because she thought t was the dog, not him.

While they were talking, he needed to do it again and he did. The dog was under his chair again so he did not worry about who's to blame. Then the girl called out, "Brownie, come here. Bad dog."

After some time, the dog came back under his chair again. So the man did it once more. The girl immediately called her dog and said, "Brownie, come here. He might poop on you. Bad dog."

Taxi Passenger In White Dress

A taxi driver picked up a passenger at midnight. His lady passenger doesn't talk. Even if he ask him. Then he noticed that her face is pale and she's wearing a white dress. Her hair is uncombed.

He's scared.

When they reached her destination, he noticed there's only one source of light in the area - a lamp post not too far from where she got off.

As he helped her unload her stuff, he clears his throat and asked, "Ma'am, why are you dressed in white?"

She looked strangely at him and slowly moved her right arm at her back. He stepped back a bit so that he's ready to run just in case she shows him something that might scare him.

She took something from her back, raised it in front of him and said, "Because I use Tide laundry soap."

Do Not Lie

A father s teaching his daughter to always tell the truth. He told her it's a bad thing to lie and people don't like liars.

Two days after their conversation, a neighbor of them whom the father don't want to talk with was knocking at their door. Seeing who's knocking, he told his daughter to tell he's not there. "But Dad, you said it's bad to lie."

"I know what I said and right now I'm teaching you obedience. Just obey your father, okay?"

"What do you want me to tell her?"

"Just tell her I'm not here."

The girl went to the door, opened it and told the visitor, "You heard him. He's not here."

Voices In High Tune

On my way to church with my twin daughters our bus stopped at the mall to pick up passengers. One by one they stepped onto the doorway. The last passenger who went in stopped to tell something to the driver. Her companions, a child and a young adult, went straight to the back. She was asking the driver to let her in without a fare card (that is, bus ticket) because she lost it in the mall.

Shortly after she finished her statements, the driver immediately said, "Ma'am, if you don't have a ticket, you need to exit the bus." The lady then repeated her story. This time with a little but higher tone.

Then it became a cycle. She talks. He talks back. It was like listening to a student of a music lessons repeatedly singing the same line of a song that gets higher everytime.

I felt the driver's urge to stop the argument when he said, "If you keep raising your voice, I will keep raising my voice. You don't have a ticket, you need to exit the bus."

A Dying Businessman

A business man is dying and all his family members came to visit him in the hospital.
One-by-one he called them.

Businessman: Gina (his wife), are you here?

Gina: Yes, dear. I'm right here.

Businessman: Alvin (his son), are you here?

Alvin: Yes, dad.

Businessman: Laura (his daughter), are you here?

Laura: Yes, dad. I'm here.

Businessman: Oh, you're all here.

Gina, Alvin, Laura: Yes, we're here for you.

Businessman: Then who's taking care of the store?